Fighting for the victims of rape
Published on Saturday, July 19, 2008
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Dear Sir:

After reading my writing in defence of justice and for the support of the allegedly raped female police officer and the young human rights lawyer, both of whom brought allegations against the Prime Minister of St Vincent, Ralph Gonslaves, for rape and sexual assault, I was confronted by this question: “why did you get involved in Ralph’s business?”

Unfortunately, when an allegation of wrongdoing is made against any public elected officer, it automatically becomes the business of the people, not only the business of the person whom the allegation was brought against.

Every public elected officer has an obligation to the people they serve and their office to uphold certain standards, and allegations made against them must be closely examined for elements of truth or untruth and be dealt with accordingly. It is the only way we can keep corrupt practice from forcing up its ugly head and becoming a part of what is considered normal.

Because of the reason I perceived the question was asked, I refused to discuss it. However I am of the opinion that there are others who would like to know why I got involved and wrote the following articles in defence of justice, against rape and in support of the rape victims. I have been teaching my son Malique that he must be a voice for and of the people who don’t have a voice, and to use his strength to defend those who are weaker than himself. But more so the offences of rape have become close to me. I have had family members who were victims of rape. With the exception of one woman, all of the women I have started serious relationships with have been victims of rape and or sexual assault.

This had led me to understand that there are big bad wolves everywhere and most of them are dressed in sheep’s clothing; they put on the outfits of caring stepfathers, concerned members of the community, community leaders, members of the cloth or collar, politicians, etc. The Little Red Riding Hood of this world has got to contend with them daily.

What was unfortunate for these victims was the fact that seventy percent of the people molested were molested before their twelve birthday. The trauma that is associated with these ladies’ experience made it almost impossible for them to hold functional intimate relationships. These ladies, like most victims of rape, have problems with their self-esteem, trust and intimacy. I noticed that my girlfriends were either overly withdrawn or overly promiscuous. The unfortunate thing about this whole life-destructive episode is these behaviours are no fault of the victims (although we often blame them for their behaviours) but rather the fault of the perpetrators of these crimes that were committed against them.

I have sat with sunken heart as I listen to the unfortunate experiences these female who were dear to my heart as they relate their stories of hopelessness to me; and as they describe their feelings of worthlessness they experienced each day.

I have seen the psychological pain of my friends and I have seen their efforts to forget the negative events (the abuses they went through) of their life; that is played back in their conscious mind without their permission, as a flashback of the incident takes control of their conscious mind and replays the whole unfortunate experience over and over and over again.

I have spoken to a friend who was sexually abused by her grandfather and stepfather from the age of three years to seventeen years of age, yet she can remember with perfect recollection of every event that she went through during that period.

So I will endeavour to answer the question why did I get involved? I got involved because I am a father of three children, two girls and one boy, whom I love very much; potential victims for any big bad wolves as well as the Tom, Dick or Harry rapist that prowls our community.

Recently, I have heard of a predator that has been preying on females in the Villa and the Fair Hall area. Stories are told of this male who hold his victims at knife point and then proceeds to rob and viciously rape them. I have heard of the unfortunate female whose Fair Hall home was broken into by a predator that proceeded to mercilessly rape, rob and slash her with his knife.

This is a new and recent phenomenon to St Vincent and the Grenadines. We must never forget that the voice of silence could be deafening and it very often sends the wrong message.

To whom much is given, much is required. I owe it to my children to lend an objective voice against wrong doing, I owe it to my community wherein my children have to live, to ensure that I do whatever I can to make the community a safer place for my children and myself, I owe it to the victims who have no voice, to use the voice that God have blessed me with, to champion their cause, but most of all I owe it to my conscience to ensure that I can look myself in the eyes, look my children in their eyes, so that I can sleep well at night but more so when I become a child on my second time around (once a man and twice a child, the stage of old age) I would be satisfied that my manhood was not wasted but I would have used my influence, my life, my knowledge and my experience to help my community be a better and safer place for all to live in. Allan Palmer